Category Archives: Life and Leisure

Life and Leisure, Thoughts and Expressions

Ramblings~The Gene Pool

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Here is another chapter from my first book, that some have requested I post and share.

Dating is a destination of its own, requiring a road map, directions and an alternate route to flee.  You meet someone, fall in love, then find out that once committed to that individual, the mind games usually pursue. These days, asking to find someone willing to be totally honest with you and be themselves, is like asking someone to have a root canal with no pain relief or numbing. You feel the tug, the severe pain and then the blood bath to follow.  Or then you find people so shallow, that they delve into the gene pool, double dipping, and taking a piece of your soul with them along the way.

Another part of the world of loving and being in love is the ability to love and let go.  That’s when you love someone and they lead you along a bit and then you realize that you both have two different interpretations of love, and it has become more one sided.  You love them enough to let them go, and they love you enough to leave you, but want to remain a part of your life, in case the pursuits they seek to be better for them fail, and they come crawling back, hoping for them open arms waiting to receive them, and you, the sucker, are there.

These beeches

taking pains

to grow straight,

to reach the sun

in order to live.

We are walking under them,

in different directions.

But for both of us there is enough sun.

I choose not to compete

But long to lift you lovingly to the light,

scatter joy on your paths,

to interweave you, me and the sun

In a network of life.

And yet these fallen giants,

with the cold, smooth cutting wounds

point to the final law.

I then fall.

And only the light and fire

that we had once taken in

Will remain.

My words

are once again

the signs of helplessness.

Arrows shot without conviction,

Without soul or spirit.

They lack the energy

that seek the heart.

They lack determination

that leads me away from the pain.

I leave the alphabet of thought

and know I have lost the flight.

I watch the motion of the universe

around me and know I shall not fly

for the void bears the loss

of one simple word.

Closed you stand before me.

No door is turned my way

And your eyes offer me no entry.

Yet I know

That if it had a celebration

would have prepared itself for entry

Yet in the silence and seclusion

I shall retreat with respect

and wait for what may never be.

I don’t know if you will invite me in later.

I will not wound you with expectations

nor confine you with suggestions.

I affirm your absence.

And if you open up to me one day

I will take it as a gift,

And if you call me in

I will come

Then we both shall fly.

It makes one wonder why love can have such an effect on us and why we do the stupid things we do all in the name of relationships.  We are but simplistic individuals with complex ideals and the need to feel loved by someone, by anyone.  My problem with wanting to fly is I kept getting rutted in with turkeys and that did me no good.

©Copyright protected 2011: JD, NWU Local 1981

©United Press International,   ©International Association of Press Photographers and Journalists   Press ID # 1007490467

Life and Leisure, Thoughts and Expressions

Ramblings~10 Shoes 1 Paycheck

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I published this in my first book a few years ago, and on occasion I like to read it again and remember the good ole days, when single parenting did not mean collect a welfare check or wait for a handout, or everyone else pay for the 4 beautiful children I brought into the world that would grow up to be adults and are still some days a pain in my ass.

It’s said that sometimes to gain freedom from one circumstance one must sell their soul to the devil or it is sold for us.  To escape a horrid  mess of experiences all through childhood into early adulthood, I always took the entertaining and challenging paths.  I believe we all walk that path at one time or another.  After arriving in Missouri, I did such a thing.  Within a few years, I found myself betrothed, mother of four and then a single parent.  What a whirlwind.

I have no regrets as I did bear four beautiful children, two before I even had a driver’s license. I love them unconditionally, but now as they are grown, I think back and comprehend why some species of mammals eat their young.  Temperance is something I became well versed in.  There I was, the proud mom of a four, three, two and one year old, alone in a big city.  The toddler and pre-school years just beginning, let the adventure begin!

Up by five

One more day begins

The rat race called life,

 Just who really wins?

Throw clothes on kids

Breakfast to cook

Do we need jackets today?

Let me go look.

Put shoes on your feet

Then out the door,

Buckle up let’s roll

To the sitter once more.

Mom has to work

To pay them bills

Buying diapers and vitamins

Food, clothing and a few weekend thrills.

There are sniffles, coughs

Barfing and diseases,

All to rid them of

As mother nature pleases.

Clock out at five

Head out again

Pick up the kids

Then a weekend to plan.

Race through rush hour

Home to fix the night meal,

chores, cleanup then baths

Did you wash behind your ears this time for real?

Bedtime Stories then close your eyes

It’s time for sleep

Say your prayers dear kids

And pray my sanity I do keep.

For tomorrow will come

 And as sure as the sun does appear

We will do it again

For yet another year.

     Between packing sack lunches, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and college classes, I wasn’t quite sure where the first day of the week began and the weekend before ended.  I felt like a hamster on a wheel, running all day and getting absolutely nowhere.  Then School days arrived.  Truly this is the best thing that man created.  You can dress your kids, force them onto the big yellow bus, pray they don’t lick the windows, pick their nose until it bleeds, wet their pants or catch Chicken pox.  Then thank the good Lord they can torment someone else besides you in eight hour stints, several times a week.

How they love to ride the yellow bus

To meet with all their friends

They do school work and then they play

The growth and learning never ends.

They start to read and minds expand

Knowledge takes ground

Then they begin to think they know everything

Mom, the idiot, now does abound.

Their education I once cherished

Has now become my recurring nightmare

For Middle School days can drive a parent

To want to rip out all their hair.

     I really do understand the species of mammals that eat their young, most likely were peering in my windows before they consumed them, and made a conscious decision.  Oh and let’s not forget what follows Middle School, the all so memorable ‘I know everything, and you know nothing years’, labeled High School.

You had better plant your money tree before they enter second grade, because by the time they reach that age, the Bank of Mom will see very few deposits and thousands of withdrawals.  A whole orchard if you plan on throwing in any college years.  Since we know Ed McMahan has not been able to correctly GPS my address for many years now.

©Copyright protected 2011: JD, NWU Local 1981

©United Press International,   ©International Association of Press Photographers and Journalists   Press ID # 1007490467