By: JD Author, Reporter-Journalist

While researching different support groups online I came across one website that had a list of the 25 things you DO NOT say to someone living with MS, and can relate to many of the 25 things on that list because I have heard them from enough people over the last 15 years and have nearly bitten a hole clean through my tongue in an attempt to not reply by saying, “well you don’t LOOK stupid do you?”  In case you haven’t seen the list, here it is.  Read it carefully, because if you have read it and still ask me the same question or questions, I might not bite my tongue when inquiring about the “appearance of your IQ”.   Being my humorous self, I have inserted behind each one a reply that will leave uneducated people speechless.

 

Top 25 things not to say to someone with Multiple Sclerosis:

  1. You don’t look sick. (Funny, you don’t look stupid either, but who am I to judge?)
  2. You shouldn’t drink diet coke. (I prefer sweet tea, it’s a Missouri Thang, but you need to lay off the Kool-aid.)
  3. OMG, this diet cures MS. (Do they have a diet to cure ignorance as well?)
  4. OMG, this vitamin will leave you symptom free. (You know your RIGHT! Right after YOU pay my pharmacy copay, I can go RIGHT down to the local store and buy some.)
  5. Aren’t you gluten free? You should be. (And I will have to be dead before you can pry that Dunkin Donut from my fingers!)
  6. Try this supplement; it helped my cousin’s uncles’ sister’s friend who has MS. (Seriously!) 
  7. Well aren’t you taking your meds? (Yes….) Then why is your MS bothering you still? (Eye roll commences, and I walk away. I don’t keep bail money on hand, and slapping the stupid out of someone is a crime.)
  8. Are you contagious? (Yes every time I cough, COUGH COUGH.)
  9. You shouldn’t eat meat. (Contemplating stabbing you with a knife has come to mind, that is.. right after I cut this steak I had the energy to cook today.)
  10. What did you do to get MS? You must have done something wrong. (The only thing I did wrong was assuming you were more intelligent than this.)
  11. If the heat bothers you, don’t be in it… or move. (After you pay my pharmacy bill, you can pay for my new house and the moving company it will take to get me relocated too.  Your such a considerate and generous friend!)
  12. I heard a vaccine caused it. (Yes,they dispense them when they vaccinate against stupidity, and I think you missed that shot.)
  13. Why are you dragging one of your feet? (Because not only does my head have a brain so does my leg, and it’s an independent thinker!  It doesn’t like being told how it should think or feel either, beware it may kick you, and I can’t stop it!)
  14. You need to get out of the house more. (Well take the time to come drive me somewhere, roll me around, help me in the bathroom, if I need to go pee and treat me as kindly as that parent of yours you abandoned in a nursing home, because they were too much trouble.)
  15. Well if you’re in remission, why are you on meds? (If you put perfume on dog poop, does it make the poop go away, or just mask the smell for a while?)
  16. That celebrity with MS seems just fine, why aren’t you? (They, like me, hide our illnesses from judgmental idiots like you.)
  17. Are you sure it’s MS? How can doctors be so sure? (Doh.. They are called doctors for a reason.. They just practice medicine with a license. Do you have a license to practice medicine?)
  18. Stop using MS as an excuse. You can’t feel that way ALL the time. (Wanna trade places and find out for yourself?)
  19. Maybe you just need to try a little harder. (I think I can, I think I can. Watch out the karma train just left the station and is about to run into your stupid train.)
  20. Why don’t you try a different medication or isn’t there a surgery to fix that so  that it doesn’t cause so many side effects? (Have you considered an artificial intelligence implant?)
  21. You seemed fine the other day. (My super-hero cape is in the dirty laundry today.)
  22. Why are you always so tired? You slept ALL night. (WOW.. you were in my bedroom watching me sleep? That’s creepy! That poking pain was you bugging me, keeping me awake with my eyes closed!)
  23. Oh TRUST me, I know exactly how you feel! (Can we change bodies again, so you can feel it more than me, I am kinds tired of doing it all the time?)
  24. Oh, you should just exercise more. (I have a daily exercise program! I do pushups, every time I move my fork to my mouth to feed myself. I go for walks, which seem easy to you, but for me it takes a long time, requires many sit-ups and sit downs and sometimes a trot by someone to come rescue me halfway down the 40 foot hallway I frequent.  I do pull-ups, every time I can’t just roll out of bed.  I tried them knee bends, but it’s a bitch getting up after face-planting into the floor and having to do a push-up several times to get back up.  I can think of several exercises I do daily, want to come watch and help me exercise tomorrow?)
  25. It really can’t be that bad. (Well I would gladly trade places with you, but I don’t think I could afford the co-pays for all the vaccinations against ignorance you seem to be behind on getting.)

Now that you have laughed, or scratched your head, secretly knowing you have had one of those questions floating around in your brain but were smart enough to not let it escape your lips around me remember that not all diseases are visible, and thanks for realizing that sometimes….

Silence is Golden and educating yourself is Platinum!