Category Archives: Human Interest

New Years Resolutions.. Quest or Quandry

New Years Resolutions and How to Make Them an Adventure and Not An Unobtainable Quest

Have you ever wondered how in the world your clothes dryer could be so hungry that it eats your socks?  Why the lid on a pickle jar always seems to have been sealed by a ninja?   Why driving down a country road the smell of pig poop always seems to filter in the direction you’re traveling?  Life is full of questions, it is how we choose to seek out which need answering with the mind, by skill or by listening to our inner voice to find the answers we seek, and what we should just take as circumstance.

As the year draws to a close, we tend to reflect upon the past twelve months and prepare to welcome the new.  Sitting right in front of us are some of the most personal questions of all.  What will my new year’s resolution be?  What will I make as my new goal?  What will I plan to give up, plan to achieve, and hope to change?  These questions may seem simplistic, yet matter to us, or we would not have saved them until the socially acceptable time to place them into a resolution has arrived.

According to research done in 2012 by the University of Scranton, Published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology,  almost 60% of Americans make new year’s resolutions yet less than 46% of us successfully follow through with at least one resolution beyond the first six months of the year and approximately 8% continue on beyond that. Of that percentile; the majority were resolutions and goals related to weight loss, healthier living, quitting smoking and other means of self improvement.

So if you’re going to be one of the 60%, make sure you choose realistic goals that you are willing to put some effort into following through with.  Many of us use the New Year as an opportunity to make our personal multi page “bucket list” of things we want to do or total personal or professional makeovers we hope achieve.

Although nice to aspire a drastic change, experts claim the average person has far too many competing priorities that this type of approach will be a set-up for failure.  If we try to aim our rocket of hope to high, and shoot for the moon, we might find ourselves ending up failing to even firing our engines off the launch pad on January 1st.

It is more sensible to set small, simple attainable goals throughout the whole year, rather than singular, overwhelming goals.  Remember to set goals that are tangible.  Making resolutions that are ambiguous can be inspiring and entertaining to our psyche, but the difficulty in achieving them, means that excitement can rapidly give way to frustration.

Resolutions are more successful in follow through when they are bounded by rational, achievable metrics.  For example; if your goal is to lose weight, you may find it easier instead of staring at a scale every morning, and wondering why the numbers don’t drop, choose to make a short term goal, such as; for six weeks I will not eat potato chips and soda, or for two months I will not take second portions at suppertime, and the result may be better choices with a better sense of accomplishment, in return causing a positive result in taking off a few pounds as well.  Be specific and set yourself a clear ambition.  Instead of saying “I am going to get a gym membership in 2014”, sign up for yoga classes or getting on a treadmill two mornings a week.  “Vague goals begat vague resolutions, when you cannot measure some form of progress or success in completion”, Says John Norcross from University of Scranton.

In this age of social media and electronics, make your goals obvious.  Experts recommend charting your goals in some fashion.  Even though there is no universal strategic method for success, sometimes making a clearly defined to-do list is a good enough reminder for one to stay on track.  Try journaling, or creating a personal blog, to share with friends and family you trust and that support your goals, without judgment.  Share your goals with some Facebook or other social media friends as a means of accountability, which will tend to make you want to reach your goals, when you have a personal cheering squad and support system.

I had a friend, who decided she was going to try and curb her shopaholic tendencies and pay off her 24,000.00 in credit card debt.  She decided to make it her New Years resolution,  and knew it would be a hard battle to accomplish on her own, so she went public with it.  She created a blog, and invited all her friends to follow her as she made the effort to transform herself from a shopaholic to a spendthrift.  By sharing what she didn’t spend, and how much she saved by changing her habits publically, she was able to curb her budget and ended up paying off her debt within two years.  She claimed that sharing her resolution was her way of holding herself accountable.

Most importantly have faith.  Believe in yourself. By taking the first step and setting simple and realistic smaller goals, you raise your chances of achieving that goal significantly.  When goals are set too high or without specific means of measurement in progress, we tend to abandon them the moment we hit the first bump in the road.  More often than not, people who are not successful in keeping their resolutions blame their own lack of willpower.  If you’re not ready to stick to it and pursue your goal, or give up what you choose to forego, you will not succeed.  You have to be willing to put in the effort, and only when you’re ready and you’re doing for yourself and not others.

Many times we have heard people say they have no “willpower’.  After doing much research and several surveys on the subject of New Year’s resolutions, I found that most people felt that they lacked the willpower to follow through and that they could not complete their goals because they lost their “drive” to do so.  You have as much willpower as you THINK you have.  Which means; that on some personal level, your journey toward self-improvement through setting your New Year’s resolutions will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

©Copyright protected 2013: JD, NWU Local 1981

©United Press International,   ©International Association of Press Photographers and Journalists   Press ID # 1007490467

Once a Mighty Oak

Once a Mighty Oak

A Metaphor of Thought to be pondered.  The true and pure individual can comprehend without grandiose and see, this is all, this is we, no solidarity blame be.

My minds-eye is resting upon a stoop, as I do ever-so often, watching the birds fly by; savoring the beauty of their grace in flight.  Rabbits scurry among the rich clover and the breeze blows the wheat in the fields across the dusty road in front of my secret mental place nestled in the rural countryside.  I close my eyes and vividly recall the mighty oak that once sat centered between the two fields, strong, tall and in its grandeur once graced the skyline with her broad branches and lush green leaves.  She was one tree but trunk split as to appear to be two individual trees stemming from one earthen source. Then I open my eyes and am drawn back into reality.

I see that same tree, not so mighty, scarce are the leaves that grow on the eastern side, yet the side on the west still blooms, yet struggles to grow beyond the fragile limbs that sway in the summer breeze.  How can this be?  How can something that once was so grand, so strong, wither to near nothingness between two fields of capable nourishment?  I set out on a quest to unearth the mystery that lie in front of me in a disheartening state of inevitable demise.

I started my quest by inquiring the ownership of the tree, to discover, it was a gift from nature that separated the two fields, of which had individual owners.  The farmer to the east possessed his land first, shortly followed by the farmer to the west.  Each of them, cherishing the beauty of the tree, and wanting to possess it as their own.  The tree, her only task was to answer mother earth’s call, to grow to bloom and to give back to nature the splendor that was bestowed upon her.  Although the tree belonged to neither, in all rights, the farmer to the east felt because he was there first, he would sway the tree to grow in his direction, and tethered restraints to sway her to grow in his direction as she blossomed into a mature mighty stature among nature.

The farmer to the west understood, and wanted to share the beauty of her duplex massiveness that would one day be, and offered solution.  He fertilized the roots upon the western side, and offered this yielded richness to the farmer on the east, who took offense to his skill. Claiming to himself, in his grandiose stance, he took aim to damage the very roots by means vindictiveness and an axe he harmed the tree on the western side, hoping the failure, would wound the view from the west, and cause only the eastern side to grow and flourish where he may benefit.  In this state of grandiose, felt he was right in his actions, not realizing the roots were intermingled, and in his destruction, harmed the beauty of the one tree as a whole.

The tree still blooms, despite her roots failing and unable to sustain much life.  She doth still spread her flourishment in the wind, yet now the winds hear her pain and blow her seed towards no field, but to the heavens, pleading for lightning from the clouds to set her ablaze, and relieve the struggle.  This doth not happen.

So she stands, farmer to the east gloating, feeling he has won, since she still blooms, not caring the destruction he has caused,  is not visible to the naked eye.  The farmer to the west, cannot comprehend the volatility of the farmer to the east until he inquires of the fields previously owned, by this farmer were lush, but in haste to exploit his skill did over harvest and destroy those fields and moved on.

The tree, she still stands, and in her state of withering and pain, she knows, she fights for the new bloom in spring, and when the winds set upon her, and seed rise can it carry her between the east and west and the splendor of both be enjoyed?  Or shall she beg once more to nature, and have the winds carry her south?

I open my eyes once again.  I see.  The tree, so much becomes like mankind. It could be you, it could be me.  We find it hard to share all the good that is to be offered, without finding the flaws in one another.  We fight to be the one who has ownership, and do not even realize we have made it our obsession, our goal our conquest to be the sole owner.  There will always be one offering help to another  and share in the best of splendor and one finding they are above help.  They seek out a hidden purpose for the kindness, because deep inside they know, themselves are guilty of the same.  In this action, not realizing they treat life’s gifts as a conquest to be owned as priority to them; the very thing they despise in another.  In one’s exaggerated sense of self-importance, they seek to find someone to blame, and cannot look into the mirror and find where their fault is, and that everyone is without perfection.

We all want the best of nature, and the grandest of “trees”, the greatest of things in life, as we feel entitled, but do not realize, it comes purely, and when we seek to damage the root of existence, and prepare to and then blame the demise on others, we have failed to realize, we were just as wrong, we are not without flaw.

Just as the tree is not without flaw, who planted its seed among two fields,  then split itself, would have been better off growing in a park on the south lawn of uncharted land.  We make mistakes, whether we take responsibility, and not lay blame, we fertilize and create blooms, instead of withering to nothingness. The tree knows her  growth and knows her demise, and knows that nature offers opportunity for re-bloom, yet knows not the direction of the wind without pain.

Thought:  Judging the flaws of others, not only exposes theirs, but shows the world our own as well.  Ti’s better to be a farmer who sows the seed of silent success, than the farmer who plants the seed of discontent and loses the harvest, through bitter action. 

©Copyright protected 2013: JD, NWU Local 1981

©United Press International,   ©International Association of Press Photographers and Journalists   Press ID # 1007490467